Hi Tristan,

I can relate to the sunburn thing. My H is genital and causes deep muscular discomfort in my thighs and buttocks as an outbreak erupts. It feels like sunburn - I don't want anything touching it - I believe Shingles feels similar.

In my experience (I've had H for 10 years), outbreaks are usually caused by physical damage. If my now ex-partner was too "rough" with "certain parts of me" during sex then I would gradually develop (over the next 12 hours) the symptoms of sunburn, leading inevitably to lesions. I found that bathing them in salt water (ouch) would ease the lesions quicker than any fancy oitments - and much cheaper too!

The only other link I've found between general health and outbreaks is to do with stress. Too stressed or tired and the ourtbreaks come easier and are more diffcult to get rid of. I usually average about 2-4 a year, some pretty insignificant.

The flu thing I've also experienced, but not quite as bad as you. More a mild fever and feel rough for a day.

And by the way, you're not so different ;-) It is a cross spome of us have to bear - I'm newly separated after 11 years,and in a new country as well. I've still got a lot to be happy for, and although not relishing the day I have to tell a new partner, will forget about it until then. It doesn't matter whether it's H, or asthma, or hernias (!), everyone has something "different" about them. Try doing a search for H-dating or "437737" on Google to see just how many people are in the same boat. About 20% they reckon.

Celebrate your individuality!

Tim
:-)