my gal and I signed up on a swinger site, and as soon as we got an interested party we would send them what we called the "disclosure document". We were always thanke dfor our honesty, and found a few willing players that went out and got informed before they played with us. It was a great experience. The swinging chapter of my life is over, but it feels good to know that you can do it with integrity nd still be successful.
I have a female friend who still does not disclose she has it, and she dates within a pretty tight friend group. I keep asking her to create a way to say it that works for her and gives the new prospect a choice. Sooner or later all these related lovers will find out thru the grapevine, and she will have hell to pay.
Years before I contracted it I slept with a gal who didn't tell me till right before we were about to do it the second time-- I cant tell you the helplessness I felt from not knowing. I asked every lover after that. The one that gave it to me had no idea she had it, so she was as devistated as I was when we both had our first outbreaks within a week.
I think the best thing to do is find a light way to share it--- with all your info ready if they ask, as soon as you see the situation going 'that way'. if you get all serious and clinical they get overly concerned. I tell ya, almost all of the gals I was attracted to and dated after contraction confessed to cold sores some time in thier life, and I woul lightly say, "wow, cool! you have herpes too! " For many it was a surprize that they were actually carrying the virus.